Waffling and wandering thro' life

I know I've been a bit slow at posting, but there's not that much to tell y'all about (I'm being instructed in important "southern" words to use!). It's been nice just to be able to relax and chill out a bit - spend time with my Matt and dream about the future!! Sadly the weather hasn't been great....though we were on tornado alert last night, so at least it's different!
Yesterday was my first ball game - it's a whole different culture. Most of the activity revolves around things happening off the pitch (or whatever it is called!). A whole bunch of Matt's family were there so it was good just getting to know them and experiencing this American tradition which ended with fireworks.
It certainly is a different culture, and doing more normal and less touristy things does bring it home. I've been asked for directions in the street, gone to get my hair cut and at times stared blankly at people who seem to be talking to me in some strange language vaguely reminiscent of English. But the people are friendly and courteous - pretty much everyone will make eye contact and say hello - it's refreshing....and as much as there some things that make me think "you what?!?!" there are a whole bunch of other things I wish we had more of in the UK.
So as you can see, there's not been much happening.....but it's been good and real....and I get to spend time with my man!

Yesterday I was left feeling pretty helpless and useless. My Dad had texted me late the previous evening saying that my sister who is in Granada had been attacked - managed to speak to him yesterday and find out that she'd been out with the guide she has over there and they returned back to where she was staying around 11pm. A guy the guide knew had come back with them and he got into an argument with the guide which resulted in him pulling a knife on him, almost getting him in the eye before the guide managed to run off. So the guy turned on my sister.....so she's now gone through that, lost her purse and laptop.....and is thousands of miles away from the rest of the family with no easy way to get in contact. I'm the closest to her geographically and all I can do is text her (her mobile doesn't seem to want to accept incoming calls). The British High Commission have got involved so hopefully folk are looking after her. And hopefully this won't have messed up her project she was doing there as part of her degree in medicine - she comes back in 3 weeks or so (although I believe she is trying to get back sooner now) and then faces her finals before starting her job in a hospital in July.
I can hardly imagine what she has gone through and what she feels like....I know that when someone just stole my purse from my bag I felt violated and I didn't even know it was happening. To be robbed at knifepoint....I can't comprehend....there's nothing I can do.....I just feel kinda helpless.

I'm now well and truly officially engaged!!! Matt proposed on Saturday and I now have a gorgeous diamond ring on the fourth finger of my left hand....it's beautiful, and simple and sparkles lots....wow, I never realised what a girl I was!!!

Well I made it over to the States on Saturday - always feels like a really long day when you travel and that was even with a direct flight to Atlanta with British Airways. The airline didn't see fit to upgrade me this time so I ended up at the end of a long queue in immigrations having had a seat towards to back of the plane....It seemed to take forever but eventually it was my turn and it all went really smoothly. Immigrations officer was really kind and helpful - told me that he didn't want to become the bane of my life so not to do anything stupid like getting married without the proper visa....I reassured him that I was perfectly aware the visa options we could have and would use them! He then recommended a place to call in Atlanta to speak about stuff, so that's another thing for the list this week. All in all it was 1hr 40mins from landing until I finally met Matt outside arrivals - and then it was a 3hr drive to get home. But I made it....and all the nightmares about crashing planes or being turned away at immigrations where just stupid dreams.
Now just to relax and enjoy this time off with my man!!! :-)

I'll be in Atlanta (hopefully!)!!! This last week seems to have whizzed by unlike the previous three weeks of this month countdown that's been going on for me. So with bags half packed and the washing machine still going I now have 11 hours until a friend picks me up to take me to the airport and then it's the start of about 13hours until I get to see Matt again.
I managed to not work too late tonight - managed to get everything that was on my list done by 6.30pm and feel really good about the clear desk I've left behind. Even managed to get my inbox down to a very respectable 8 emails which are waiting for answers. So I really feel like I'm on holiday now and plan to enjoy the next 18 days.....I'm sure I'll find some time to blog!

This evening has seemed quite long and relaxing - I like it when sunset gets later and the day feels like it has just that bit more to it. All completely irrational I know, each day has it's quota of 24hours that doesn't change....but somehow the evening just felt longer!

The day part of today felt long too - drove to Cheltenham and back which ended up involving around 5hours driving in total as I had to go up into London first (not a pleasant experience....driving in London always seems to infuriate me...too many other drivers (in the loosest sense of the word, ie merely behind the wheel of a car!) and stupid one way streets, no right turn signs and the like which served to continually thwart my attempts at getting to my destination!!) Also, although it was lovely weather and the world does indeed look a whole lot more beautiful when the sun lights it up, it was tough driving in what felt like an oven. Still it was nice to be out of the office and it was a pretty productive day all in all. Now just 4 days to try and squeeze everything I need to get done into before holiday.....yay!

And I've actually started sorting what I will pack....checked luggage allowances worked out which bags/cases will be used and started making piles of things to take....it's a bit unnerving given that I'm fairly used to (and proficient at!) packing the night before/morning of going away!! But I have been looking forward to this trip for some time now. Only 5 days to go!

Well it's been a while....and there's not been anything that memorable to write about! I know I've hardly had a minute to stop this last week, let alone think about what I might blog on and finally get round to logging on and doing it!!

Life seems to whiz past at quite a pace and I am all to aware that sometimes I don't communicate that well with those around me....like today I said something to my Mum about me going to the States next Saturday and she looked at me blankly....I'm sure I must have said to her....but she is positive she didn't know!

And there is plenty of things spinning around my head - things just seem to get more and more complicated at the moment - and I'm left feeling that there's just no way I can keep everyone happy. Big question of the moment is, do I do something that will make me happy or do I put the happiness of others before my own? And just in case it will help with determining the answer, the event in question is my wedding! Ho hum, there seems to be a shed load of guilt just waiting to be dumped on me if I opt for the former!!

Well, just a little bit of fun in the midst of a rather nasty situation....I ended up at the gym today and was watching Donald Rumsfeld being grilled by the Senate (need something to distract me from the actual exercise!). Well, Sky was putting up where the senators were from after they'd been speaking for a couple of minutes so I started trying to guess where they might come from first.....and I was getting the general location right and even managed to guess the states for a few of them....woohoo!.....ok, simple things sometimes please me.....was the best bit of the hour of listening to them going round in circles.

It's one of those rare days, I'm in the office on my own and the phones aren't madly ringing....so making the most of no-one being here I've got my music on and without Oli here to moan I'm listening to a couple of U2 cd's! Once again I just catch some lyrics which make me stop, think and realise that things may be tough but (and here I'll leave it to Bono)...

Don't try too hard to think
Don't think at all...

I'm not the only one
Staring at the sun
Afraid of what you'll find
If you took a look inside
I'm not just deaf and dumb
Staring at the sun
I'm not the only one
Who's happy to go blind

And I'm left with so many thoughts whizzing round my head - about the joys and pains of letting people close enough to really see inside you, about what it really is that captivates my gaze so much and focuses my energies, and what it really means to have faith, to not try and work absolutely everything out for myself - ha, that one's got my head spinning...that fine line between using my intellect to understand and question while also knowing that a definition of faith as "belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence" suggests that my understanding is not the be all and end all. Maybe I just need to come back to the first bit of what I quoted....don't try too hard to think, don't think at all!!!

Tonight I'm meeting up with a really good friend for leaving drinks. She's off back to Oz and although there's really good things going for her over there (including a very lovely man) I'm going to miss her quite a lot. She's been over here for almost three years now, first as a visitor and then on a working holiday visa, but now there wasn't a visa that she could get to enable her to stay here. It's one of those days where it's hard to really express how I feel....I'll just miss her...lots....

I've really come to hate goodbyes over this past year - seem to have to say them all to often to people I just don't want to leave or see go. And I know that they are only so hard because of all the great and amazing times that go before them.....just today it's hard to drag myself away from the sadness of goodbyes.

Well that was the title of the course I was on today! Many jokes in advance of maybe the managing of limited time would be made more difficult by being out of the office for a full day, and of course puzzlement on my part as to why someone felt that I needed to go on a time management course.....I get everything done......eventually!!!

It actually turned out to be a really worthwhile day especially as the tutor didn't just talk at us but got us to pull out specific things from our own work days and use them in the various tools she gave us. Now it's just a case of trying to put some of them into practice.....good intentions for tomorrow, although being in the office on my own might put paid to that!

And then I had the pleasant surprise of coming home late after a meeting I had to attend, popping next door to get post and helping them out with the Chinese food they'd ordered in, some lovely ice cream and a bottle of wine....the little blessings!!

So I'm not working this weekend and I hardly know what to do with myself!! It's been an odd day and I have completely not made the best use of it! Feel like I've done a lot of nothing much, although did manage to do some important things:

...took my library books back - then searched for new books to read and realised that Weybridge library have rather a large catalogue of pretty mundane books - frustrating when you hunt, check the catalogue for authors you'd like to discover that others have recommended and you invariably find that they are in another 12 local libraries but not our local one.....one day I'll sit down and work out which library I should be visiting!!

...went through the bookshelves downstairs putting books into two piles - trashy holiday reading & books that are old friends - one pile to go to charity shops/other new homes and the other to eventually be packed and travel with me to a new home.....well that's the plan anyway! I'm sure I'll have to go through the old friends pile again to get rid of any imposters there.

...on the same kinda note, started going through cd's and photos to weed out the one's that really shouldn't be around....excellant bunch of memories in those that did get kept though - realising I have more photos than I remembered and a whole lot of cd's that I was fully aware of!

And here it's a bank holiday weekend so another two days off ahead of me