Waffling and wandering thro' life

Well, today is proving to be a frustrating day! I feel in need of shouting or possibly screaming at someone, so while emotions are still around I thought I'd blog....then I'll head off to the gym in search of some endorphins which should help counteract things!

Today is the day before the ticket deadline for cheaper tickets for Greenbelt this year - the phones haven't been too mad today but the problem is that our secure shop is down and I can't get hold of the guys who provide & support it....so I'm left with a pile of messages from people and the huge number of bookings that have come through the post that I can't do anything with and a number of people who are going to call back later today. Technology can be a wonderful thing but it is frustrating when it doesn't work especially when you don't have the knowledge or the resources to fix it yourself. And I hate it when people just don't get back to you when they are meant to be providing support during working hours.....grrrrr!

And I miss my man (sorry to be all soppy!). I know it's getting closer to when I'll see him next, but 23 days is still far too long as far as I'm concerned....roll on the day when I don't just get to go and visit him but can actually stay!!

My good intentions seem to have waned tonight. Did come home via the gym - number one on the list ticked off, but now having watched the end of a couple of movies on tv my good intention on writing a blog with some substance seems to be slipping out of grasp. I blame it on hayfever which seems to have hit me these last two days....that and the fact that in searching for something I was pretty sure I'd put somewhere, I unearthed some dust which set me off sneezing again.....so, maybe tomorrow I'll get another post on something vaguely interesting up!!

Today I have ended up thinking lots about whether you do things to make other people happy or whether you do things to be true to yourself. My natural tendency is to do my best to keep everyone else happy...the only problem is that at times this gets frustrating. At times though I end up spending so much time doing what everyone else wants that I'm not quite sure what it is that I want. Am I a defined image or do I just cast a vague shadow for people to see which varies with the time/place/circumstances.

Also in the case at the forefront of my mind today, where Matt and I are trying to plan the best way of getting married, all the logistics of what would work best for other people can tend to dominate and it is very easy to end up loosing sight of why we decided to do it. It may be news to some (it would feel!) but the primary motivation behind the wedding plans had nothing to do with them!! Had a really good chat with a friend today over a class of crisp white Australian wine while sitting out in the beautiful sunshine which helped a lot. Definitely grateful for friends that do know me and want me to be true to myself and challenge me to do just that - and not be scared to the risk that comes sometimes as to whether people will accept that or not.

And that works both ways - I have to be ready to let people be what they are and not what I want them to be....life would probably be a whole lot easier to navigate if there were less shadows and more bright and bold images!

Well it was a sunny day today - feel like I made good use of the day (minus the bits wasted by trains being delayed due to essential engineering works and things generally breaking down!) apart from the sun. Once again it was a working Saturday, this day for planning group, the people on the ground who dream up the various aspects of the festival and then roll up their sleeves and make it happen. They are a wonderful bunch of people and it's great to see them working together on things - always feel bad that the bits I have to input are the mundane things.....get your ticket allocations in, make sure you've got accommodation you need booked, this is what things cost......! So although it did mean spending the best part of 4 hours below street level it was good.
I then headed down the road to the gym. I've been a member of for almost 4 weeks now - finally I found a way of managing to keep on going rather than just paying the membership fee...it's literally 4minutes walk from work and now a lunch hour down at the gym becomes a possibility. So I spent the best part of 90minutes working out and did feel better for it even though I'd not been feeling too great earlier....only thing is the gym is two floors below street level!
And although it was frustrating spending the best part of 3.5hours traveling on trains and buses today (gave the underground a miss as it would just have been too much!) it's quite nice to watch the world go by when the sun is freshening the view up and bringing out all the colours.
And after the general organisation and structure of the day I managed to take a friend on a rather long drive to find a nice pub to have a meal in via a few others that either seemed to have moved from where I last remembered them being or just didn't feel like a place to chill out.....it did though give plenty of time for chatting and catching up which was the point of the evening.

Feeling very aware that my whole purpose of setting up a blog was to try and get into the habit of writing stuff....I've spent the last five days playing around with colo(u)rs, discovering what a style sheet is and the like, and feeling none the wiser for it all. But I will suceed!!
So, taking a break from that I thought I'd try my hand at writing in English (with some help for my American friends!!). It's just been another normal day though I feel somewhat like I live in a bubble. Watching the news it's hard to relate to things that are happening around the globe - and I realise that I've been gleaning far too much of my "information" about what's going on from Evening Standards that people leave on the train! It's hard to get just the facts and not someone's slant on how things are which can often be biased in the subtlest of ways.
And as ever there are plenty of things closer to home to keep the mind occupied...!
Balance, that's what I'd like to achieve one day...more thoughts later as I'm out of time.

And now a stange evening...my fiance tried some DIY on his front door to enter his house....and then got embroiled in a water fight with his wee cousin!

Well, it's been a strange day. I keep having to remind myself that it actually is Saturday as I went into work today for what ended up being an all day meeting. Found myself clock watching a minute ago and thinking "it'll be almost 5pm in Dayton, Matt should be home soon" (scarily deducting five hours from my clock here is almost natural!) and then thought, darn it's only Friday so he won't be leaving until 6.30pm....and then getting really confused as to which day it really was...but it is Saturday so I should get my daily chat soon....yay!

I thought today I'd feel frustrated by having to work at the weekend, but the meetings today were strangely invigorating as I realised again what a bunch of marvellous people give up part of their busy life to in some cases travel hundreds of miles to dream and thrash out what Greenbelt is and where it should be going. I'm privelidged to be part of that....yay (again!).

So, all in all a pretty good Saturday....and an evening spent trying to fix this blog, drinking wine and making a new friend online (a friend of a friend....wasn't doing anything weird!)....now to make this my first post......to keep in tradition (for today at least!)...yay!!